Tag Archives: ex-husband

Don’t scare me…a cautionary tale

As a result of my ex-husband constantly scaring me, I have developed an uncontrollable startle reaction. He loved to hide and scare me, come home early and psychologically terrorize me…just generally scare the crap out of me purely for his own enjoyment. In sharing this with my girl friends, I find this is a common male talent/past time. Also…excessive tickling and sticking their finger in your mouth when you yawn.

Why do they do these things?! I’m not going to be able answer that today, but what I am going to do is give an example of the havoc this can wreak on a woman’s psyche.

Fast forward a year after my divorce. I’m at work. I’m alone in the office. I’m on the phone with a client discussing their case. Suddenly, an arm reaches around me and gently places a paper on my desk relevant to my phone conversation. I did the natural thing and screamed into my client’s ear like I was being stabbed. My boss stood there wide eyed and wary, not understanding what just happened. The client freaks out asking if I’m okay. I am stunned and embarrassed at my instinctual reaction. Too ashamed to explain that I screamed at a helpful arm, I stutter out, “Uh, something fell and scared me.” Not my most professional moment.

These days, my boss tries to walk loudly on the carpet when coming into my office. If he comes in when I don’t expect him, he makes a lot of noise so as to avoid another screaming situation. Let me tell you, divorce isn’t the answer unless there is no other option, but thank God I can relax in my own home without fear of some jerkwad hiding in the closet.

And this, friends, is why I’m single.