Dating – stop being too nice

So a mutual friend kind of introduced me to a guy who she thought would suit me. (We shall call him Mike. As in Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs.)

Anyway, I should have been tipped off that we were different people when he texted me the following: “Hey this is Mike. [friend] jus gave me ur number jus wanted too say hey sorry it’s so late”. He also spelled our mutual friend’s name wrong. I wrote it off as rushed guy texting and swore not to hold it against him.

So we text a little for a day or so and he calls me. I answer. He is yelling and cussing a lot – mainly about other drivers but also about his drive thru service. I wonder at his slurred sound if he is drunk. He shouts at me to tell him where I live as he is headed my way. I don’t want to. He can’t hear me. I already might have plans. He keeps yelling at me over the roar of his diesel truck. I give up and tell him where I live.

Now let’s pause a moment. I realize I sound like a moron at this point. I really did not want to meet up with this guy and actually already had talked about making plans with a friend but she wouldn’t make up her mind for like an hour. And I was cornered. I’m a people pleaser. And I don’t like confrontation.

Back to the story…Mike pulls up to my house in the largest and loudest truck I’ve ever seen and heard. It sounds like a tractor pull is taking place in my driveway. He sits in the truck. I eventually worry that my neighbors will be annoyed and wander out to the truck where he is frantically throwing trash from the passenger seat and floorboards into the back seat. I say I really can’t come as I might have plans, I’m just waiting on my friend to text me back. He tells me to get in, we’ll just take a drive and talk. (Yes, I realize I’m very naïve.)

We drive. Engine noise and smell come through a hole in the dash. He smells like he has been drinking already. The exhaust is made to sound loud as well. I cannot hear a thing he is saying and we are screaming. Also, he is very dirty from work, which isn’t generally a big deal but he wants to hang in public. We go to a restaurant bar and he orders the special, which is a 32 oz. beer. We sit mostly in silence as I endure his slow sips of beer. I lament that I have to work early. The third time I mention this, he asks if I’m ready to go. I am relieved. “Yes.

We leave and as we pull out he turns the opposite way from my house. I remind him that my home is the other way. He says he knows but that he wants to drive around and talk. I get nervous. I again remind him that I need to get to bed like now. He starts saying I must not like him and that he will never see me again.

I lie. I tell him I like him just fine it’s just that I have to make work a priority. His driving scares the batshit outta me and I realize his complaining about others’ driving earlier is because they were in his way as he drove down the center of the road.

I make it home, I quickly stick my hand out and shake his hand and get the hell outta that loud truck. I’ve still texted him back but I don’t answer the phone when he calls. I don’t have the guts to tell him that it isn’t going to work out. Long story short, I’m bad at dating as well as breaking it off.


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